Posted by: talkjack | January 11, 2009

The Great British light bulb ban

And in fictional news this week, the people of Bully Britain are forced en-mass to horde conventional light bulbs, due to an unwanted ban throughout the country. In parliament, during Prime Ministers questions, stand-in Harriet Harbully defended the ban.

Opposition leader Cameron Nicebutdim asked whether the government had actually read the EU agreement before signing up to the light bulb ban. Harriet Harbully replied, saying “Err.. When I rule the world, there won’t be enough airports in the country for all the men and light bulbs who want to flee the country!”

When later accused of hate speech against men, Harriet’s defenders said “Its all right to say that because it is positive discrimination so thats OK. Besides, Harriet was only joking. What is wrong with you?”

However, when the Conservative opposition responding with neighs, baas and other farmyard impressions, Harriet went further, saying “its dead easy to buy these new fangled ‘enviro-mental light bulbs, and everyone should know how to fit an energy efficient lightbulb.”

“Yes, we all saw the news report when you went to a shop in your own constituency,” replied Cameron wittily, “but most of your voters are not rich enough to afford the body armour, six man police escort, armed response unit, helicopter and rooftop SWAT team that you felt it necessary to take along with you, at public expense.”

We asked serial blogger Talkjack to comment. He said “Oh goody, can I make a bullet point list?”

There are several important light bulb related points being missed here. Typical practice in Bully Britain – look:

  1. Conventional light bulbs are a cheap, effective, proven technology. Forcing the public to buy unwanted, more expensive light bulbs is discrimination against the poor.
  2. When a conventional bulb breaks, the public know how to clean them up safely, wrapping them in old newspaper. When a so-called “environmentally friendly” energy efficient light bulb breaks the general public do not know how to clean up a toxic chemical spill of poisonous mercury in their homes and bedrooms. In fact if the public knew how dangerous these new green light bulbs are, and had a free choice between them and conventional bulbs in the shops then they could vote with their wallets.
  3. Given that we the public have had no say in the matter, it is important that we teach everyone how to clean up after breaking an energy efficient light bulb, and the dangers of mercury from light bulbs.
  4. Low energy light bulbs take a few minutes to warm up before they light a room properly. When fitting a low energy light bulb in your bathroom or toilet, what is to stop men piddling on their shoes in the semi darkness? Conventional light bulbs are clearly best in this respect.

This is all a distraction from the real issue – that the government of Bully Britain has allowed the country to fall into a huge economic depression, sorry, recession, sorry, credit crunch, and seems incapable of fixing the problem. Instead people like Harriet Harbully are pratting about with unnecessary discrimination laws and banning our traditional light bulbs in order to score green brownie points. Disgraceful.

(c) Copyright Talkjack 2009



  1. Nice blog dude, found it through

  2. The light bulb ban is wrong for those reasons and more…
    The energy and emission reasons don’t hold up
    see onwards

    In any case society doesn’t actually need to save energy:

    1. Renewable energy sources already exist, and are increasingly deployed (solar, wind, wave, tidal, hydro, geothermal, biomass).
    2. Nuclear energy is long-lasting and potentially renewable (short-term via breeder reactors, long-term as nuclear fusion).
    3. When used for electricity, renewable/nuclear energy can relatively quickly be spread to other regions via grid interconnectors.
    4. As finite sources become scarcer, their price rises, reducing such consumption anyway, and the choice of renewable energy resources becomes more natural on the market place.
    Taxes or subsidies can of course speed up the effect before then.

    Consumers pay for the energy they use and should be free to use it as they wish, given that the supply is there: all lights have advantages. That is why they exist for people to choose.
    Energy efficiency is one advantage. Light bulbs need to have other advantages, or noone would buy them.
    As it happens, ordinary light bulbs are overwhelmingly popular, bought 9/10 times in the EU, 19/20 in the USA, with similar popularity elsewhere.
    Cheapness plays a big role – and why not.
    But the idea that people avoid buying lights just because they are expensive is wrong – or expensive alternatives to other products in the shops would never be bought.
    Conversely, people wouldn’t keep buying light bulbs if they were cheap but useless.
    Ordinary light bulbs have a wide appeal because of appearance, a quick response also in cold conditions, a bright and broad spectrum light quality, are easy to use with dimmers and auto-switches, and can come in small sizes.
    These are properties that to a greater or lesser extent no other light types share, including halogen lights, noting that halogen lights that are similar to ordinary light bulbs tend to be on the phase-out schedules anyway.

    Re Mercury issue see

  3. From what I see the new CFL, LED bulbs or economical bulbs in generally have advantages and disadvantages. It may be just a method to create profit from economical light bulbs but we can’t know for sure. Personally I don’t like so much the CFL’s rather than the incandescent bulb. The new plasma lamps or bulbs are very interesting.

  4. See also:

  5. Mercury is poison. Heated mercury is deadly. Evil governments are killing its people. Crushing their cars, taking their hard earned cash, taxing them to death. Down with the evil we call government by the satanists.

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